Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column . First came Erik the Red (who got his nickname because he loved a glass of pinot noir with dinner). Erik was what we might now call a troubled soul. Born in Norway, the family moved to Iceland because his father committed “a number of killings,” according to Greenland’s tourism department (it’s never a good sign when people stop counting how many murders you’ve done). Alas, the apple didn’t fall far from the birch tree and Erik was kicked out of