Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column . The premise of the TV show “The Traitors” (or “De Verraders” in the original Dutch version): lock a bunch of people in a castle and get them to perform a series of tasks in exchange for the chance to win a bunch of money. However, some of those present are designated as ‘traitors’ and must do their best to eliminate the competition without being found out. The premise of the EU leaders’ retreat at Alden Biesen castle on Friday: basically the same,