"Why is it so easy to find words for joyous occasions ... yet we lose language when seeking words to console the bereaved?" When we hear about the death of a child or young adult, we are unsettled, unmoored. Such deaths are out of the natural order. And if it could happen to your child, it could happen to mine. Life is never safe once you have children. When my daughter died of cancer at age 40, some people remained silent, distancing themselves, as if the death of a child might be bad luck,