"Either we give this a real shot, or we don't," my husband said during one of our nightly phone calls. By that point, we'd been together for five years (off and on) and married for one. We'd skipped all of the ceremony and quietly wed at City Hall. It felt quick, in part, for practical reasons — I could get on his health insurance, and know where he was when the United States Navy sent him out on deployment. Shortly after we eloped, we returned to our separate lives, connected only by a nightly