DEAR ABBY : My brothers and I loved our father. He was an alcoholic until he was 37. After he stopped drinking, we became the best of friends. He was both mother and father to me, and I was so proud of him.  Dad remarried 33 years later to a woman I can only describe as diabolical. At first, “Selma” was full of compliments and smiles toward us. After they married , my father’s glow and his relationships with us turned cold and clinical. He could call us only from his car when he was alone.