DEAR ABBY : For four years, I tried to get my stubborn husband to get his hearing checked, once I realized it was decreasing. When he finally did, he had lost a significant amount. Now he seems to be declining mentally, and he refuses to get a checkup. I have told him that if he does not get himself checked out now to hopefully stop or slow down the process, I will not be there for him when he is in serious decline. Do you have any advice? — ULTIMATUM IN CALIFORNIA DEAR ULTIMATUM : This is a