Parents today try to raise their children for good grades, perfect behavior and high achievement. We want them to do well and be able to handle challenges in life. But research shows that confidence and resilience stem from a child's ability to feel safe being fully themselves. In my work of studying over 200 kids, and as a mother, I've found that beneath the defiance and behavior problems, there is almost always a child who doesn't feel comfortable expressing what they feel and need. In other