"After causing me so much pain while he was alive, I resented that B was now creeping into my subconscious." By the time B killed himself in our backyard, we hadn’t had sex in two years. After forgiving multiple infidelities (some that I knew about and more that I suspected) and after being thrust into the role of caregiver for the final seven months of his life, I was no longer in love with him and was barely attracted to him. But for almost a year after he died, I burst into tears almost