And why the push for cinematic Santas to be buff, badass or reinvented feels so very wrong. I like my big-screen Santas like my Christmas cookies: old-fashioned. Simple. Sugar-dusted, with very few decorations. My guy says “Ho, ho, ho” and cares deeply about everyone, regardless of race, religion or creed. This is probably my most conservative cultural opinion: Make Santa jolly again. Nice kids get dolls and baseball gloves. Naughty kids get coal in their stockings. That’s fair. But in director