DEAR ABBY: My oldest son, “Adam,” turned 50 last month. He and his wife, “Lindy,” live four hours away. They invited me and my husband to a birthday party she was having for him. Adam’s daughter from a previous marriage couldn’t make it for whatever reason. Lindy tends to drink too much. At one point, she went around screaming about how Adam’s “stupid daughter” didn’t bother to make it to his birthday party. To say the least, I was furious. I didn’t speak up because my son’s friends had