Times have been tough lately — and when I say "lately," I mean roughly the past 35 years — for me and my fellow Jeffreys of the world. From the early 1990s infamy of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer to the deplorable actions of Jeffrey Epstein , my first name has been dragged through enough mud to induce cringes from most people upon its mere mention. Now, as we enter the second month of 2026, a year in which the story of the still-not-fully-released Epstein files refuses to go away, thousands of